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While in the shower:
2% Cleaning body
8% Singing
90% Winning fake arguments.

I solve many of my problems
by simply
ignoring them.


Trying to understand women
is like to trying to smell
the color 8.



How do i kick someone in the face
without hurting their feelings?


Most people want a perfect relationship . . .
I just want a hamburger that looks like the
once in commercials.

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