"3 out of the 4 voicesin my head want to sleep.The other one wants toknow if penguins have knees?"

"Election time:Where choosing who to vote for is like choosing which brand of
shoe gets to kick you in the balls."

"Relationships are only meant for two,

but some bitches don’t know how to 


"Some people need a shock collar

 and I need the control."

"I don’t understand how Super Mario
can smash blocks with his head
but dies when he touches a turtle..."

Funny Quotes - fail blog - funny photos