Показват се публикациите с етикет funny quotes. Показване на всички публикации
Показват се публикациите с етикет funny quotes. Показване на всички публикации

вторник, 1 март 2016 г.

How I learned to dance - funny quotes

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Quotes to make you laugh

Didn't go to the gym today but . . . the cashier's name at Mc Donalds was Jim. Sooo. Same thing.


Photograph of Bob Hope
"I grew up with six brothers. 
That’s how I learned to dance –waiting for the bathroom."

- Bob Hope








"Next week I'm going on a diet, 
you can buy me jewelry instead of chocolate."
- Anonymous




I never apologize. 
I’m sorry, 
but that’s just the way I am.. 
- Anonymous


"If you even dream of beating me 
you’d better wake up and apologize."
A photograph of Muhammad Ali

- Muhammad Ali




"No man has a good enough memory 
to be a successful liar." 
Abraham Lincoln photo

- Abraham Lincoln





"It's easy to identify people who can't count to ten. 
They're in front of you in the supermarket express lane."

- June Henderson





"You want a friend in Washington? 
Get a dog."
A photograph of Harry S. Truman

- Harry S. Truman





"At every party, there are two kinds of people 
those who want to go home 
and those who don’t. 
The trouble is, they are usually married to each other."
Photograph of Ann Landers

- Ann Landers

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неделя, 7 февруари 2016 г.

Short hilarious quotes

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#love #instagood #photooftheday #Beautiful 

#fashion #happy #follow 

#followme #picoftheday #like4like #fun


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hilarious quotes and one liners


Next time your girl wants you to take her somewhere expensive, take her to the gas station, almost 5.00/gallon.

— Unknown


“I stay up late every night and realize it’s a bad idea every morning.”
— Unknown

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funny quotation

“They keep saying the right person will come along. I think mine was hit by a truck…”
— Unknown

“I’ve realized you can use a fork as a spoon if you use it rapidly enough.”
— John Mayer

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Most people are only alive because it’s illegal to shoot them.
— Unknown

“Wouldn’t it be nice if the world was flat? That way we could just push off the people we don’t like.”
— Unknown


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Quotes for laughs

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Just for laughs quotes | just for laughs funny quotes

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“Calm your tits, pussycat.” 
― Ella Dominguez, The Art of Control

“I love to stalk. I love to stalk you real, real good. I took your name home after our date and we had the best Google session of my life.” 
― Anyta Sunday, Noticed Me Yet?

“There really isn't much use in getting into a pissing contest since I have to sit down to pee anyway.” 
― Tammy Blackwell

funny quotes that make you laugh | quotes to make someone laugh

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“I've decided I don't like books that end with 'The End'. The fact that there are no more pages, suggests to me that the book has ended.” 
― Wayne Gerard Trotman

“No punching?" he asked.
"No."
"No kicking?"
"No."
"How about arm wrestling?"
"No. And before you ask, we've avoided Slug Bug, Slap Bets, and any and all Dance-Offs."
― Tammy Blackwell


Sayings that make you laugh | laughter quote

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“I'd like to lose enough weight so that my bones creaked louder than the floor”
― Stanley Victor Paskavich

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събота, 6 февруари 2016 г.

Funny quotes and short jokes

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short funny sayings video



If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, just try missing a couple of payments.
— Earl Wilson

I’m great in bed; I can sleep for days.
— Unknown

I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of my life; if I die next Tuesday.
— Unknow

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Cute funny short quotes

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Awesome funny sayings

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I’m gonna go take a hot shower. It’s like a normal shower, but with me in it.
— Unknown

#love #instagood #photooftheday #Beautiful #fashion #happy #follow #followme #picoftheday #like4like #art #instadaily #TagsForLikes #cute #style #instalike #Selfie #life #fun #likeforlike #me #girl #amazing #fitness #smile #follow4follow #friends #instagram #nature #beauty


My life is all math. I am trying to add to my income, subtract from my weight, divide my time, and avoid multiplying.
— Unknown





It’s useless to hold a person to anything they say when they are in love, drunk, or running for office.
— Shirley MacLaine

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Short hilarious quotes

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Hilarious quotes and sayings

#love #instagood #photooftheday #Beautiful #fashion #happy #follow #followme #picoftheday #like4like #art #instadaily #TagsForLikes #cute #style #instalike #Selfie #life #fun #likeforlike #me #girl #amazing #fitness #smile #follow4follow #friends #instagram #nature #beauty




If your life is all about screwing things and getting hammered, then congratulations, you’re a tool.
— Unknown


funny quotes, funny quotes about life lessons, funny quotes about humor, funny sense of humor quotes, hilarious quotes, hilarious quotes and one liners, witty one liners quotes, short hilarious quotes,

We kill people who kill people because killing people is wrong.
— Unknown


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Funny quotes about life

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Funny quotes about life lessons

#love #instagood #photooftheday #Beautiful #fashion #happy #follow #followme #picoftheday #like4like #art #instadaily #TagsForLikes #cute #style #instalike #Selfie #life #fun #likeforlike #me #girl #amazing #fitness #smile #follow4follow #friends #instagram #nature #beauty


People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.
— Winnie the Pooh


#love #instagood #photooftheday #Beautiful #fashion #happy #follow #followme #picoftheday #like4like #art #instadaily #TagsForLikes #cute #style #instalike #Selfie #life #fun #likeforlike #me #girl #amazing #fitness #smile #follow4follow #friends #instagram #nature #beauty

I would challenge you to a battle of wits, but I see you are unarmed.
— William Shakespeare


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Laugh out loud Quotes

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Quotes for laughs

#love #instagood #photooftheday #Beautiful #fashion #happy #follow #followme #picoftheday #like4like #art #instadaily #TagsForLikes #cute #style #instalike #Selfie #life #fun #likeforlike #me #girl #amazing #fitness #smile #follow4follow #friends #instagram #nature #beauty


People say that money is not the key to happiness,
but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.
— Joan Rivers


#love #instagood #photooftheday #Beautiful #fashion #happy #follow #followme #picoftheday #like4like #art #instadaily #TagsForLikes #cute #style #instalike #Selfie #life #fun #likeforlike #me #girl #amazing #fitness #smile #follow4follow #friends #instagram #nature #beauty

Accept who you are, unless you’re a serial killer.
— Ellen Degeneres


#love #instagood #photooftheday #Beautiful #fashion #happy #follow #followme #picoftheday #like4like #art #instadaily #TagsForLikes #cute #style #instalike #Selfie #life #fun #likeforlike #me #girl #amazing #fitness #smile #follow4follow #friends #instagram #nature #beauty


I tried to be normal once. Worst two minutes of my life.
— Ziad K. Abdelnour


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сряда, 3 февруари 2016 г.

Laughs Quotes

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Funny quotes and sayings

#laugh #LAUGHING #laughter #Laughs #livelaughlove #livelovelaugh #instalaugh #laught #laughingjack #laughoutloud #justforlaughs #instalaughs #laughteristhebestmedicine #cantstoplaughing #slaughterhouse #slaughter #laughlin #justlaugh #laughatyourself #mademelaugh #laughoften #sexualaughs #laughingsohard #goodlaughs #goodlaugh #lovelaughlive #alwayslaughing #laughoftheday #whoneedsalaugh #laughters


“Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.”
-Oliver Oliver Reed


“All can I say is that exams are damn pathetic”
- Sharafat Hussain


“For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.”
-Oliver Oliver Reed

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Quotes for laugh

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Laugh quotes

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“Real comedy is not when you laugh at an idiot, it's when the idiot laughs at you.”
- Raheel Farooq


“Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse kick you in the face.”
-Oliver Reed


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вторник, 2 февруари 2016 г.

Try not to laugh quotes

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“Recently thought of deleting my Facebook account and start using twitter, but realized it's not easy. Facebook has become like the boyfriend I no longer like but scared to dump because I've invested so much time in the relationship.”
-Manasa Rao Saarloos


“I hope the next time you get a double-decker strawberry ice-cream cone the ice cream part falls off the cone and lands in Australia.”
-Judith Viorst

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time top 10 funny quotes about life top 10 funny quotes for facebook top 10 funny quotes tagalog top 10 funny quotes ever ben 10 funny quotes

“Girls are like Pokemon, it doesn't matter how good you are, you can't catch any if you don't have any balls.”
-Auliq Ice


“I am always happy, because whenever I am sad I just know that somewhere, somehow, there is a person who is PUSHING a door that says PULL.”
-Auliq Ice


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Funny sayings and quotes

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“When a fat person goes in the water naked, would it still be called skinny-dipping?” -Anthony Liccione

“Graduating from the School of Hard Knocks doesn't always get you to Fort Knox.” 
-Edward Harris

“If You Lose Your Keys, At Least It's Better Than Losing Your Car.” 
-Edward Harris
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“Yoga pants often answer questions I didn't ask.” 
- Tim Heaton

“Vomit and shit, even your own, stink.” 
- Sheeja Jose

“Life at times is a bunch of crap, the nice part about crap is that it's biodegradable.” 
-Kyle Johnson

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time top 10 funny quotes about life top 10 funny quotes for facebook top 10 funny quotes tagalog top 10 funny quotes ever ben 10 funny quotes


“I said,’What’s your problem?’ Asshole.” There was a question behind his question, and that shadow question was ‘Do you want to dance?” 
-Adrian Barnes, Nod


“Someone asked me yesterday if Dracula met Saruman and there was a fight, who would win. I just looked at this man. What an idiotic thing to say. I mean, really, it was half-witted." 
-Christopher Lee” 
-B. Lloyd Reese, In the Shadows of Myrmidons
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“Women KNOW, we just know. Even if we didn't know, we would know. Men won't get this, but women will..because we KNOW” 
-Karen Gibbs, A Gallery of Scrapbook Creations

“Self-publishing a shitty book doesn't make you an author any more than singing in the shower makes you a rockstar or squeezing your pimple makes you a dermatologist.” 
-Oliver Markus

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